Hello everyone!!🥰 and welcome back to feeling good with Sofy!! 🫶🏻☺️

So, in this article I will be focusing my attention on HAVING BOTH:

•ANXIETY—DEPRESSION (ex. of MENTAL HEALTH DISORDERS.), AND THEN ALSO •THE FLU.

DEALING with a MENTAL ILLNESS is ALREADY A LOT, EVEN MORE WHEN YOU CATCH A FLU.

In general,(for ex.) having SERIOUS DEPRESSION,ANXIETY, IS ALREADY A BATTLE because YOUR BODY and MIND are in a way WEAK, EVEN MORE, WHEN YOU GET INFLUENZA, so IT IS MUCH HARDER TO COPE WITH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS THAT COME… (my current therapist explained that to me 🫶🏻.) 

(as I already mentioned in my article TOXIC PEOPLE, I am going to talk about severe anxiety, depression,further on…❤️) 

In my many experiences, I easily got and still get, (less than before, fortunately) (yes, I am still working on it, remember that it’s a journey 🫶🏻❤️❤️) panicked, tearful… at least this has been and is my case. 

How do you react? Do you also get easily overwhelmed in those kind of situations? ❤️ If it’s a YES than YOU ARE NOT ALONE ❤️🫶🏻.

So, I am going to share with you:

1) How I felt in primary school, middle-school, (generally speaking from 6 to 13 years old) regarding my mental-health and health in general.

2) some of my hardest moments regarding my MENTAL ILLNESSES, WHILE ALSO HAVING THE FLU. (This in high-school and afterwards).

3) Then, WAYS TO MANAGE THESE KIND OF SITUATIONS ❤️ (of course every situation is different, some of them are similar, others not so, and then it depends also how sick I am…).  

Are you ready…?! 🫶🏻 Because I am! Let’s go and explore together this area ! ❤️🫶🏻.

I’m going to start by saying that since a very young age, I’ve been dealing with lot of stress, sadness, too many worries, fears, I cried constantly and a lot, feeling upon my shoulders too many expectations, (regarding the last one, I am going to WRITE an ARTICLE about THE NEED OF PLEASING OTHERS).

I was not this young kid who every single week or month got influenza, no. I rarely went to the doctor (by the way: I hated it, I was really frightened to go there, I was always so relieved after a check…), just for a medical control to see that everything was all right, my family used to call me the rock of the family ❤️ due to this fact.

The problem was that, I, many times envied my sister (ex.), because she got sick more than I did, and I wanted to be in her place so I could stay at home and not go to school because I suffered there, BUT I COULD SAY THAT I SUFFERED, (MENTALLY) IN GENERAL. 

So I guess that my DEPRESSION STARTED, (AT LEAST STARTED SLOWLY), in PRIMARY SCHOOL. 

Maybe, or maybe not, you could ask yourself this question: “How could she have been so sad, scared, if she has a beautiful family, whom is so caring…?.” 

Yes, I know, I asked myself this question many times. I’m still working with my therapists & also my parents 🫶🏻 to understand why…? It’s not that easy at all…

I’ve always been VERY GRATEFUL FOR MY FAMILY’S SUPPORT (especially my mom’s and dad’s support❤️❤️) BUT MOSTLY AT THE BEGINNING OF MY SCHOOL YEARS, I LIED TO THEM MANY TIMES, ALSO TO MY FIRST PSYCHOLOGIST because I was too scared to admit I was having issues with a teacher (ex.) or, that I didn’t feel understood by them…

As I remind myself moreoften, now, NO FAMILY IS PERFECT…

(another article will be about ASKING FOR HELP ❤️ IS NEVER A SIGN OF FAILURE).

Maybe I was strong physically… BUT INWARDLY I BEGAN REALLY TO FEEL LOST, HOPELESS AND SAD.

Many times, in fact, I tried to convince my parents that I was sick just so I could remain at home, be safe, (already at the age of 6-7), I felt that teachers did not understand me, I WAS EMBARRASSED TO ADMIT to others I have lots of difficulties in math (ex.)…“Has somebody else ever felt or feels the same way I did?”🫶🏻. 

(ANOTHER ARTICLE will be called: “I AM A D.S.A.”❤️).

Anyway, at a certain point I was too scared to go to school at the age of 10 that I began to invent that I was ill (in the meaning of stomach issues…), I WANTED TO BE SERIOUSLY SICK SO I COULD NOT GO TO SCHOOL. I was struggling and suffering internally and lying to my parents, even (as I already mentioned before) to my first psychologist, I was not in reality ill…BUT MY MIND, SOUL WERE SUFFERING A LOT, in a few words: VERY SAD INWARDLY. 

IN MIDDLE SCHOOL at the age of 11/12/13:

I both lied and began feeling weak…:

•I remember one time at middle school that I came home practically crying because I felt very weak, due to my fever also, but that after a night that fever was gone and I lied to my parents because I was not ready to go back to school… 

•One day, at the age of 12, I was at my Swedish grandparent’s home, mom wasn’t there even dad, and I got sick. I remember becoming so scared, without hope…I was crying a lot, my grandparents ❤️ didn’t really know what to do other than giving me meds…at the end mom came, she managed to calm me down🫶🏻❤️.

•Another time at 13 years old, I got severe stomach cramps, some flu symptoms, and I could not hold my tears back… I began crying so hard, one of the professors did not understand at all, another one yes, I was very grateful for her understanding and that calmed me a little bit. I felt really LONELY there at that age & further on. I WAS VERY VERY ASHAMED, THERE, OF MY REACTIONS but I could not have done otherwise.

IN HIGH-SCHOOL & AFTERWARDS THINGS GOT WORSE, I lied a lot at the age 15 (deeply sad), MY IMMUNE & NERVOUS SYSTEM STARTED TO BECOME VERY WEAK:

“I REMEMBER VERY WELL, THAT I BEGAN REALLY TO BE SICK (bad colds, shiverings…) AT HIGH-SCHOOL AND THAT I STARTED TO PANICK AND HAVE MORE AND MORE BAD THOUGHTS…”.

•At the end of my first high-school year, I just turned 15, last days at school before vacations, I caught a bad cold. I remember, as it was yesterday, that I tried to do those last Italian homeworks so hard and I was weak and crying so much (also here, THE NEED OF PLEASING OTHERS…) at the end I didn’t finish them also because my family and I went to America before the school finished. 

•when I really started to HAVE MENTAL BREAKDOWNS at 15 I began to go to the toilet too often at school and that one of these times I couldn’t stand to be one more minute in the classroom so I lied to the professor, telling her, I had some stomach issues and back at home I didn’t know what to do, I just suffered.

•One of the moments for me of SEVERE EMBARRASSMENT: I lied again, a week later, to one of the professors because I could not stop going to the toilet and I was panicking so much due to THE MEAN WORDS STUDENTS (in general, as I already mentioned in my article TOXIC PEOPLE I went to a little school), CLASSMATES WERE SAYING (AROUND MY BACK) ABOUT ME. This time ANOTHER PROFESSOR understood through my mom that it was a lie and TOLD ME :“Sofia why are you worried?” NOT IN A KIND WAY & then she started saying to me that other students had more problems (difficulties in school…) than I did. 😐.

Then I was forced to go back to the classroom, always with that horrible feeling of going to the toilet. I CRIED NON-STOP & NO ONE (AT SCHOOL) CAME TO CALM ME DOWN.

•At the age of 18, I got a very bad cold and had to stay home for an entire week. I remember clearly how I struggled to study English literature, (I had an oral test coming up the next week and I didn’t absolutely want to postpone it) I cried in the in between.

At the end of the week, maybe a Thursday, I was home alone, I had just taken a shower, I sat on one of the sofas in my drawing room, I began crying so much telling myself that everything was over, I texted my previous therapist and she almost immediately called me and made me feel better…🫶🏻❤️.

This, after I finished high-school:

I CAUGHT COVID TWO TIMES in 2022 and both times I WAS REALLY UNWELL, I WAS COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED and NOT SO MINDFUL AT ALL. 

1)The first time I caught it, was a January day after coming back from the holidays in Stockholm❄️.

Slowly I started to feel very sick, I had already done two covid tests and nothing but the symptoms were very strong, so one of my family members insisted to make another try and almost immediately, we received the result: positive. 

I spent an entire week in bed, in my room with LOTS OF SYMPTOMS especially the first days: a lot of fatigue, not breathing well, fever symptoms, dizzy, coughing, phlegm.

The thing was that I could not accept that I was so sick (not mindful), I remember not wanting to relax entirely and that I texted more than once one of my bookers😂🙈 (modeling agency) saying:“yeah maybe I will be negative and well, over the course of two days..”. 

2)The second time: I just got back from Sweden, (yes, again 😅), this time it happened in the middle of summer. 

It was a late afternoon when we returned from our short stay…

Later in the evening I began to feel strange, heavy and suddenly I found myself on the floor in my room crying a lot, feeling that I could not handle things anymore, EVERYTHING WAS TOO MUCH (also because there has been lot going on…). I caught a SEVERE HEADACHE and for the next 1 day and half this HEADACHE did not go away even if I drank A LOT OF WATER, NO SCREEN, I TOOK MEDICINE AGAINST HEADACHE. I WAS COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED, I HAD SORE THROAT…

After, a little bit more than a month, in Sweden 🥰, I caught another heavy flu (not covid this time) & I found myself, again feeling so miserable, depressed, finding really hard to accept that I was sick. 

Some months later, this time in Italy, again bad cold, bad thoughts…

To sum up, everytime I got something, I felt hopeless, I could NOT ACCEPT THAT I WAS ILL (THIS, afterwards, as I already mentioned before, from 16 & ahead) Everytime time I cried, I wanted to give up because I already had so much pain and then more pain due to my flu.

I didn’t understand really why everytime I was unwell, I was loosing hope, I just said to myself that I was done with my life, I already felt like a burden to my family AND EVEN MORE WHEN A WAS UNWELL.

I LEARNED LATER that It was because of my MENTAL ILLNESS I had ALL THESE KIND OF THOUGHTS. 

♥NOT SO LONG AGO, I BECAME MORE AWARE OF THE FACT THAT IF YOU CATCH A FEVER (for ex.) THAN YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT IT & MAKE THE BEST OUT OF IT. 🤍

So MINDFULNESS plays also AN IMPORTANT ROLE….🫶🏻.

In fact, ONE OF THE KEY WORDS for me to manage, also in this kind of situations, IS ACCEPTANCE. 

I have to really admit that I really struggled with IT for a long time, as you have already read….It’s harder to accept it if you HAVE ALSO (A) MENTAL HEALTH DISORDER(S), (at least this has been my case many times)THEREFORE it is so important to have someone ❤️🫶🏻who can reassure you that things are ok & will be ok..(your therapist, a family member, a friend, your dog (even if it doesn’t talk 😄..)… 

I want to share with you🫶🏻 this IMPORTANT TURNING POINT FOR ME..

This day the 31/12/2023 something changed. I woke up this morning feeling sick, sore throat,my whole body weak, + I had difficulties breathing. In some way I managed to calm myself down, be present, I told to mom ❤️ my situation and asked her to bring me some rooibos tea( also other teas or herbal teas such as lemon & ginger are goood…) At the end I drank like three warm cups of rooibos tea☺️, I did some BELLY BREATHING (always in bed), I took PARACETAMOL & then a NATURAL MEDICINE called MĀNUKA HEALTH, with honey, ginger…STRONG & EFFECTIVE. After a while I felt strong enough to go to my yoga mat because my anxiety was taking over. I did 2 brief meditations on the MINDFULNESS APP+ Insight Timer. Later I drank orange juice +more tea & did some JOURNALING while eating breakfast. 

WARM CALMING SHOWER while listening to SOOTHING MUSIC was also NECESSARY for my OVERALL HEALTH 

THEN REST! REST IS VERY IMPORTANT… 😄❤️

Don’t think that afterwards… I became “natural” or calm handling, my DEPRESSION-ANXIETY with the FLU 😅, BUT I started at least to become more present & more aware of my sudden flu-anxiety (as I call it 😄) & accept my current situation.

Even if, still, somebody needs to remind me of that…IT’S A JOURNEY REMEMBER THAT 🫶🏻.

In fact after the holidays, back in Italy I got a bad cold, also mom caught it, I got really overwhelmed BUT she (my mom🫶🏻) managed to scatter my mind with a really good film, we practically laughted all the time 😂🥰even if we both were sick. Her idea…lifted up my mood :)).

I would really recommend to do (for ex.) BREATHING EXERCISES, SHORT MEDITATION, if you feel that your anxiety is taking over. Then if you feel stronger…some YOGA 🧘🏻‍♀️.

LISTENING also to AN AUDIO BOOK can be really USEFUL, if you are tired to read and hold a book …

So, it really DEPENDS HOW SICK YOU ARE, if you also have a MENTAL ILLNESS to deal with… there are so many things, that pulled together can make you feel anxious, low…

I have shared with you some TIPS, TECHNIQUES that are working for me… further on if I have more, I’ll share…🫶🏻. If you also have some RECOMMENDATIONS feel free (if you want to…) to share!

In my next upcoming article I will be writing about SELF-LOVE ❤️🫶🏻 SO IMPORTANT I THINK…

See you soon 🫶🏻🥰

With Love ❤️

Sofia Lena 😊